April 1st, 2026. Cinema is changed forever. Cinema is changed… for good.
I feel like a lot of Grouveeans will see it and have thoughts. This is the place to share those thoughts. BMO can’t hurt you here.
My friend told me it was 5% plot and that I should see it and I wanted to pretend I was offline. 
He was just messing with me though, he knows I’m not particularly interested. Even if it is not a very good movie I do like when people go into the theater and come out at least somewhat entertained. I don’t quite understand this sort of pandery approach to game adaptations now. The fans love them, critics hate them. Can’t help but appreciate the original Super Mario Bros movie being weirdly political and strange, made it more memorable and watchable.
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I had fun. It is kinda like a very special episode of a sitcom like the Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii. Mario goes to space. Mario gets a kiss . Fox McCloud shows up before starring in his own film. It is all very light and fun and that’s fine. I don’t need the Mario movie to make me cry, and I think I would begrudge a Mario movie that tried to make me cry. It does feel so weightless that the whole endeavor feels a little pointless. When Bowser fell in the lava, my kids told me they knew he would return as Dry Bones Bowser . My 8 year old can predict the movie.
But I do think there are two great things that deserve some praise. Illumination does a great job creating sumptuous scenes of physical comedy. It’s what makes the Minions movies work and this movie is filled with Minions. Yoshi is a Minion. The Toads are Minions. Baby Mario and Baby Luigi? No, those are more Minions. Even Bowser is occasionally a Minion. Which brings me to the second thing I love about this film- we’re just vibing. Yoshi and Luigi and Bowser and Fox McCloud are all a good time. Mario and Peach and, sadly, Rosalina are all pretty bland but my buddy Luigi seems to like them so I don’t mind hanging out with them too.
People who complain about how packed with references this is will be disappointed to find out that Nintendo can easily do this ten more times. Like we’re two movies in and they haven’t done Wario yet. We haven’t dove into a painting and we haven’t done a stage play or played Tennis or Golf or had a party on a giant board game or played basketball with some Final Fantasy characters or gone on a vacation. Look, Endgame was a success and every franchise that can do this kind of thing are going to do this kind of thing. I just think of it as more of a parade than a movie. Maybe at the end of the next Mario movie, Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Goku and Snoopy can show up to… uh… save the day.
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I made one of my friends laugh too much with me when a Luma almost said fuck.
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The Lumas are also Minions.